


Love is a Choice

by ladydragon76



Series: Endgame [3]
Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: M/M, Mention of their past forced bonding, mention of past character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:34:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26147257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladydragon76/pseuds/ladydragon76
Summary: Summary:Being bonded does not automatically mean one loves or even knows best how totryto love one's mate.
Relationships: Onslaught/Skyfire
Series: Endgame [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1898710
Comments: 20
Kudos: 42





	Love is a Choice

**Author's Note:**

> **'Verse:** G1, IDW  
>  **Series:** Endgame  
>  **Rating:** PG-13  
>  **Characters:** Onslaught/Skyfire  
>  **Warnings:** Mention of their past forced bonding, Mention of past character death,  
>  **Notes:** Bingo Win Ficcy for Maccadam'sBarfight

His bondmate was... sad. Inexorably sad.

It was driving Onslaught a little crazy, and he was willing to admit that he wasn't in his best state at the moment. Vortex's death, while not something Onslaught had protested at the time -nor would he change it if he could- had been painful. The gestalt bond, however vastly different it was from a sibling or mate bond, still gaped with the yawning emptiness of an endless chasm. It dragged at him, black and hollow, just as it dragged at his remaining gestalt mates.

But Skyfire _mourned_ , and Onslaught knew exactly why. 'Why' had a pair of perky white wings and blue thruster heels, and liked to drape himself over Optimus Prime every chance he found. Whoever Starscream had been when Skyfire truly knew him, he had changed and grown and lived, and he wasn't in love with Skyfire anymore if he had ever been. Throughout their bonding, Onslaught had tried to avoid delving too deeply into Skyfire's mind, but the thoughts about Starscream had been at surface level and unavoidable. The times they had been driven to strengthen the bond since had only shown more of that tragedy of love-lost while adding a new, if unreadable, facet to Skyfire's sadness.

Onslaught watched his bondmate stare into hyperspace through the observation deck windows and tried not to listen to his thoughts, but it was hard to miss them. Skyfire didn't have the experience Onslaught and his team did in holding back from broadcasting.

"I would see your pain eased if I could," Onslaught said softly as he stepped closer and allowed his presence to be felt. Skyfire stiffened and turned, plating clamping. "I know I can't, but I wish I could."

"Can't or won't?" Skyfire asked- demanded really, his tone bitter and the sadness and hurt twisting with anger.

Onslaught tipped his head. "What do you mean?"

Skyfire snorted, crossed his arms, and turned away toward the windows again.

"I can't help you with Starscream," Onslaught said stepping closer so they could speak at a lower volume and not involve passersby in their... issues.

"What?!" Skyfire whipped back around. "The frag are you talking about?"

"Your thoughts and pain revolve around Starscream," Onslaught said and dared put himself within striking range. "I can feel it when we bond."

Blue optics blinked then stared a moment before Skyfire snorted again and turned away. "Primus."

"If I am wrong, then correct me." Onslaught spread his hands, palms up, in entreaty. "We are bonded now, Skyfire. It's not a magic cure, but it does force us to find a way to live with one another. We must still work at it."

At length, Skyfire sighed and said, "It's not Starscream in the way you mean it. I mean, it is, but it's not. I am... upset I can't be with him instead, but it's more than that."

Onslaught leaned against one of the thick, curved bracers for the windows and focused all his attention on Skyfire, making it felt through the bond and his field. "What more?" he asked.

Skyfire's face visibly heated and he looked away out the window again. "You don't love me. I know Starscream doesn't either, but with him, there was always the possibility. The hope."

"And you assume that I refuse to love you?" Onslaught asked.

"No. I _know_ ," he said, fixing Onslaught with a glare, "that you hold back from me, that you push me away the moment we've overloaded. I'm entirely too aware that you have no interest or desire for me beyond the need we can't fight, and I know you never will!"

Onslaught cycled his vents slowly and met Skyfire's gaze evenly as he considered his words. "That is mostly true, however, you have no interest or desire in me beyond the call of our sparks either. As far as never desiring you, never coming to love you, I would suggest it is far too soon to decide such a thing. I neither cared for nor even liked my gestalt mates before being built and bound as a gestalt, but now I would do nearly anything for the three remaining. And the fact that I could not love Vortex had to do with him being unutterably reprehensible in character. He _enjoyed_ tormenting us with the truth of the things he had done and wanted to do. You are neither reprehensible of character nor that darkly sadistic."

"You could be reprehensible of character. You could be sadistic. And I'm trapped with you."

"We are trapped," Onslaught agreed, "but, barring Vortex, my gestalt mates all have their positive aspects, and I believe I have my own. Brawl's loyalty is steady and strong when he gives it. Blast Off is even-tempered and incredibly thoughtful- though he hides it well. Swindle is clever and shrewd-"

"Didn't he _sell_ you for parts once?" Skyfire asked.

"Yes, but when he turns that mind of his toward something other than his own greed, he is a force to be reckoned with, and despite our low status among the Decepticons, no one bothered us," Onslaught pointed out. "That was due to Swindle's efforts."

"So what glowing trait do you have?"

"Endless patience," Onslaught said, though he let his tone ring wryly.

Skyfire grinned, just a little, one corner of his mouth quirking upward, though it faded fast. "I don't like merging and just... leaving. It's too cold."

"I was unaware my continued presence was welcome," Onslaught said and stepped closer, close enough to allow their fields mingle more casually and comfortably. "I believe it is entirely possible for us to learn to love one another. And if that is too optimistic, I _want_ us to, at the very least, learn to be partners and find peace within our bond."

"You really mean that, don't you?" Skyfire asked, blinking in bewilderment at Onslaught.

"Of course I do. And based on what you've said so far," Onslaught said and reached out a hand to lace his fingers lightly with Skyfire's, wanting to convey his sincerity, "I think I have one possible step forward for us. After merging, I will stay with you."

"And if you resent it?" Skyfire asked, optics on their joined hands.

"I will not. I can't say I'm a particularly ardent or skilled lover, but I can be considerate. If you want me to stay, I will. I will not ever deliberately make you unhappy, but I must ask you to speak up. Perhaps I can read your mind to a degree now, but not well enough to know the nuances. Those you must tell me yourself."

Skyfire peeked up from under his helm ridge and offered a slight smile. "That sounds fair, so long as you'll do the same."

"Agreed," Onslaught said and retracted his mask to offer his own smile.

Skyfire reached up with his free hand and traced Onslaught's lips. "Visor?" Onslaught raised it willingly. "Who knew? My mate is rather handsome."

Onslaught chuckled. "I'm glad you're pleased." He caught Skyfire's hand and kissed his fingertips. "Shall we retire?"

"Definitely."

**Author's Note:**

> [CLICK HERE](https://ladydragon76.dreamwidth.org/334490.html) to learn more about me!
> 
> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:  
>  **Feedback**
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * Constructive criticism
>   * “<3” as extra kudos
>   * Reader-reader interaction (regarding the fic tho please)
> 

> 
> **Author Responses**  
>  This author replies to comments, mostly with a simple but heartfelt 'thank you' in acknowledgment of said comment, but longer replies happen as feel natural.  
> If you don't want a reply, for any reason, just put a 'whisper' up front or at the end, and I will simply and quietly appreciate your comment without responding. ^_^


End file.
